I'm getting married tomorrow.

Discussion in 'Gear' started by nickmsmith, Jun 21, 2013.


    JCBRAVE 2017 Pick'em Champion Tip Jar Donor

    This is marriage in a nutshell.

    Think of it as cereal. Your Lucky Charms, shes Cherios.

    Now imagin eating a bowl of you, and after all the Lucky Charms are gone theres still some sugar in the bowl right? Well now put some Cherios in there.

    1 of 2 things can happen, you can either work on the relationship or you can leave those Cherios alone and let them get soggy.

    Moral of the story, always eat your wife or shes gonna turn into a crappy bowl of cereal
  2. Scarecrow

    Scarecrow CEO of PPO Tip Jar Donor

    Get a prenup

    But it was nice knowing you Nick, I am sure your GoTitans time will dwindle.
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  3. RavensShallBurn

    RavensShallBurn Ruck the Favens

    Damn dude... No BJs? Is that not classy enough in marriage or something?

    If I ever get married there's gonna be a pretty long list of requirements...

    - Sports fan
    - Doesn't text/call me every hour
    - Lets me hangout with my friends often
    - Doesn't make me watch horrible movies/TV shows (like Pretty Little Liars - Jesus Christ, this show is absolutely the worst thing ever, but they all love it)
    - Doesn't require me to have a Facebook and make pointless posts on her wall after we just f*cking talked an hour before
    - Rarely cries
    - Has slept with less than 20 guys (I feel like this is pretty generous, but these days Idk)
    - Gives BJs

    Basically if I ever get married, the girl has to be over 30 years old. These young ones are just into too much dumb sh*t that I can't handle. But I've pretty much said 35-40 would be the earliest I could imagine getting married.

    Only chance in hell I get married before I'm 30 is if I miraculously meet a girl who fits my criteria within the next few years.

    I might just go for a coug.
    • High Five High Five x 2
  4. Scarecrow

    Scarecrow CEO of PPO Tip Jar Donor

    $100 says RSB gets married to an Oakland Raiders fan named Juan.
    • High Five High Five x 4
  5. TitansWrath

    TitansWrath Pro Bowler

    See, this is the female equivalent of opening the car door or not farting in front of them. It's what is done to deal the deal.

    Once you put a ring on it, and a few years go by, that is a birthday treat only.

    Once, a woman I knew at work was telling me ask the elaborate plans she was cooking up for his birthday. I told her... just wait till halftime of the football game, walk in naked, hit your knees and get to it like you've been poisoned and the antidote is in there. Then, hand him a beer and a sandwich, say happy birthday, and walk away.

    But women have to complicate everything. It's their nature.
    • High Five High Five x 3
  6. RavensShallBurn

    RavensShallBurn Ruck the Favens

    Hey, if he fits the criteria... maybe.

    I'll end up getting gay married... to the tranny in It's Always Sunny.
  7. RavensShallBurn

    RavensShallBurn Ruck the Favens

    You need to talk with your wife about Steak and BJ Day.

    I'm pretty sure there's even a website for it now... steakandbjday.org

    As long as my friend didn't make up that website name, that's legit - yes with the .org haha. I'd google it first.

    It's the male equivalent of Valentine's Day. We all first heard about it a few years back. Genius idea. Hope that holiday pans out because I pretty much hate all other holidays - especially VD... and the other VD too.
  8. TitansWrath

    TitansWrath Pro Bowler

    Yeah, she knows about sbj day. She is not amused.

    But honestly, I love vday.what's not to like? Doing all that romantic crap is fun once in a while, and you are basically guaranteed to get some.
  9. Tennessy XO

    Tennessy XO RESIST

    I just want a girl that isn't a lying, cheating *****.

    I can work with everything else.

    I'd marry that.

    Can't be fat or ugly, mandatory there...
  10. Titans Eternal

    Titans Eternal Got the swagger of a cripple

    We all would.

    Mac really fked that boat up. Sucks for him. Grats that black dude.
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