Vince Young bought Mel Kipers old toupee on eBay to the dismay of family and friends of Jose Cuervo who is a drunk Mexican. In other news Vince Young bought a book on quarterback for dummies, but had trouble figuring out which plays were hotdogs, so he called friend Michael Vick, interrupting Vick's daily square dancing rally. Vince young bought tickets to the Stephenson show, a drag show with a cast Wilford Brimley, Jessie, 2 sybians, Vienna Sausage and, LenDale's fat rolls. Later Vince swallowed the juice of his delicious sausage which isn't innuendo, it's Jimmy Dean. On weekends Vince strolls the aisles of his local supermarket punching children for being more prepared for professional football than he was at age twenty-five, he proceeded shirtless, with friends. Rocket science is Vince Young's minor,turnovers are his favorite breakfast food. Once Vince cried in Kerry's arms because Kenny G made him feel like a natural woman. His operation made his eye ooze something disgustingly resembling Peyton Manning's special home-made thick and chunky mustache. Manning is quite a special douchebag who oils tony dungys left-over sauerbraten every time he watches Baywatch and gets pickles on his purple pickle platter. This one time Vince and Pac hit up some gay bars in glitter and jorts with J.Garcia driving. Of all people who shouldn't be seen with two violators of the Pimp and Ho and Math Skills Institute of Tennessee. Their mortal enemy, Wilford Brimley, enjoyed his Shredded Wheat given rectally by Darth vader. Then oatmeal enemas were loaded for Brimley in a german cafe near Havana. Jeff Fisher believes Wilford is a ghost writer for Tarantino. He also knows the way to San Jose (apparently), but forgets his moustache prefers Albuquerque. Meanwhile, Reynaldo Hill was arrested for sucking horribly. Suicide was his drink of choice but the bar decided to deny him the right to live, so he and Justin Mccariens bought two pumpkins and shoved them straight up Chow's chow-chow's rectum. When the pumpkin got eaten out and carved they began to apply Head-On directly to Chow's prolapsed cloaca. Vince and Pac learned of Hill's sex change operation by accident when they witnessed his boyfriend shoving his tongue in his plastic change wallet. With two dimes wedged between his dreadlocks, the boyfriend suddenly spontaneously combusted into a bloody cup of albert schwitzers dentures. Cat Stevens is now changing his name to Pac Diddy Bending Rodriguez Jambalaya. Vince then decided to change his to Cat Stevens Dick Richard III. Jeff Fisher thought his own name was Latin for "Settle for Three". Then outta nowhere, Tony Romo and RuPaul shared a cucumber, to use as a spinning Jessica Simpson toy. They flicked the idiot switch on and were electrocuted by bolts of green vegetable lightning. "The End or just the beginning" was shouted by John Madden as he played with brett farves hair (down below). Fortunately, Favre used Garnier-Fructis hemroid cream on his dangling right sideburn. However, Mike Tyson says "any chicken legs found in my shorts without cajun gravy get thrown out! In other news, Boris Karloff was the father of luke skywalker and 2 Live Crew, but never owned a "piece of crap" car like that. Bela Lugosi, Kenny Britt and Vince Young's dad, MC Hammer, can't compare to the one and only Bruce Matthews who rubs peanut butter into Jeff Fishers hair because of his admiration for mullets. Fisher's new afro, much like Polamalus, is made from the pubic hair of an ancient wild born Yeti known as Titanium. But, a curse word similar to yet sufficiently different than Chris Johnson's yards per average, known simply as VY's dead meat. The Suicide hotline is manned by The Sure Thing, but since Obama organized the community and prohibited masturbation there's no hope.