Texans fans/message board smoking crack

Awww someone must have shaved mommies back to get a couple more hours of internet time. Ok we can play.

So lets look at the Texans. They are like the cast of B movie super heroes.

QB: Matt Shammy - Samuel L Jackson Character from Unbreakable - Takes a hit like a 105 lb school girl. Super powers include the ability to impersonate Doppy Dog and play behind running QBs regardless if they are on his team or not.

His weakness is any season over 11 games.

RB1: Slaton - "The Fumbler" - with the power to make coaches over expect of him with a single gaze.

His weakness being hit by anyone on the defense.

RB2 C Brown - "Handle with Care" - with the powers of building up teams hopes only to crush them when he goes down on any meaningless hit.

His weakness is being counted on to make a play.

O-Line - "Swiss Cheese" - With the power to make any D lineman miss them on the way to the QB. This also seems to be there weakness.

Andre Johnson - "Mr. Meaningless" - has the ability to light up any secondary.

His weakness is regardless of how well he plays his team can never finish above .500

Texans D - "Buring Trashcans" - because burning trashcans would be better then the secondary they put out.

Weakness is letting the team down by getting roasted by what ever QB they play.

Together they form the Mediocre League. There creed to give the AFC South a wiping boy since 2001.

Did you copy paste that or something because it's incredible. Like misspelling "burning", the photoshop graphic a 5 year old made, actually acting as if Chris Brown has any input in our offense, and targeting Schaub at all...he's lightyears ahead of Vince...I don't even have to explain why.

All this talk about us being "Mediocre" and the "wiping boy" (once again, you misspelled, it's WHIPPING) is amusing, considering you are, um, last in the division and were the Patriot's whipping (w-h-i-p-p-i-n-g) boy.

Well, this is what I find attractive:



But if future HOF RB's get your rocks off, so be it. I guess the old saying about who comes from Texas is true. It's just too bad the steers can't type.

Schaub will relate to that graphic Monday night, and you'll understand what a "wiping boy" is when Kubiak is calling for volunteers to clean Schaub's blood off the field.

Just to let you know, his teeth are gold and I'm pretty sure gold doesn't rot. And just a reminder, Monday isn't a beauty contest its football so if you wanna knock CJ why don't you try his playing skills. The Texans have nothing but scrubs for running backs.

Your right, Slaton is a scrub, a 1200 yard rookie rushing scrub.



But we don't have a RB with CJ's talent, I agree. Our ELITE QB and ELITE WR CORE and ELITE LB core makes up for that. You can't say your QB, WR, or LB core is elite.

Slaton has 7 fumbles (5 lost) and just over 350 rushing yards this season.

Front page of the Houston Chronicle sports section today -

Running different paths
In 2nd season, Slaton struggles, Johnson emerges
As rookie running backs last season, the Texans' Steve Slaton and Titans' Chris Johnson looked like potential NFL stars. As sophomores in the league, Slaton has taken a step back while Johnson has taken his game to another level.

And I'd take Keith Bulluck over ANY of your LB's in a second. Not only does he bring experience, but he is the heart of a defense.

Funny how Schaub is an "elite" QB when he cant go a full season without an injury.

Haha, well I'd take Cushing any day over Bulluck...obviously he's so good, that's why your defense is bottom of the barrel...heart of the 30th ranked defense...can't believe you came back to trash talk, you are SO bad at it...not worse than Flaming Arrow though.

Im bad at trash talking? You just tried to say that Slaton is a good back because he had a good first season. Who cares? He lost his starting job because he fumbles every time he gets a carry. Leads the leagues with fumbles, yeah what an athlete.

If you want to trash our defense then you can talk exclusively about our secondary. Check the stats on Bulluck this season to see how productive he has been. But you probably wont because you're close minded and show the intelligence of a 4th grader.

Well, considering Cushing has pretty much given spark to our new found run defense, I'd say that one player should be able to change a defense. Your run defense is average at best, and that's what Bulluck has the most influence over...your secondary has shown a bit of improvement, but your run defense is the same...it hasn't improved at all. Glad to be the leader of a defense giving up 28 PPG, yeah, you can keep Bulluck, thanks for offering though.

Everytime a Tack fan is proven wrong, it's like, DAMN YOUR A 4TH GRADER GRR IMMA BEAT MY WIFE