NBA playoffs

Here are my bold predictions.

EAST

(1) Detroit vs. (8) Orlando
I've got one word for the Magic. Birth Control.
Pick: Pistons in 5.

(2) Cleveland vs. (7) Washington
I saw the Wiz in the 80's. Michael Jackson and Diana Ross Sucked. MJ still has a worthless Beatles collection tho', and that gets the Wizards a win.
Pick: Cavaliers in 5

(3) Toronto vs. (6) New Jersey
At some point, the Canadian blokes will give up and trade baskets for beer. That's just how it is going to go down.
Pick: Nets in 7.

(4) Miami vs. (5) Chicago
The Bulls will rent Kazaam. It's gonna be that ugly.
Pick: Miami in 5

WEST
(1) Dallas vs. (8) Golden State
Golden State sucks so bad, some burglars broke into the arena, and left money for 'em. It won't help.
Pick: Mavericks in 7.

(2) Phoenix vs. (7) LA Lakers
I thought of the Lakers once before, when I was at the zoo.
Pick: Suns in 6

(3) San Antonio vs. (6) Denver
I know what sign Denver was born under, and it said "red light district."
Pick: Spurs in 5

(5) Utah vs. (4) Houston
The jazz have slipped into something more comfotable, and it's called a coma.
Pick: Rockets in 6

ROUND 2
EAST
(1) Detroit vs. (4) Miami
Shaq is so old, he still owes Moses a dollar. But he can rattle the rim.
Pick: Miami in 6

(2) Cleveland vs. (6) New Jersey
Cleveland's light at the end of the tunnel, is New Jersey.
Pick: Cleveland in 6

WEST
(1) Dallas vs. (4) Houston
T-Mac eats Dirk alive. He makes him miss. It's the perfect matchup for the Rockets, and houston's only weakness in this matchup is backcourt speed, which they have a lot more than 2 years ago. Dallas is done. Pick: Rockets in 6.

(2) Phoenix vs. (3) San Antonio
The Suns will have enough tempo to wipe the floor with the Spurs.
Pick: Suns in 5

CONFERENCE FINALS
EAST
(4) Miami vs. (2) Cleveland
This is a David Sterm dream come true. But Lebron's star falls a little short. He won't go the distance this year, because Miami is just too good. Better coaching too.
Pick: Miami in 6

WEST
(4) Houston vs. (2) Phoenix
The Rockets proved they could beat the Suns at full strength. They jumped the hurdle. It will go seven, and all seven games will be blow outs. This is a tuff matchup for the Rockets, but the Suns proved to me they don't rebound, I mean, they don't rebound at all. The Rockets do. And that wins it.
Pick: Rockets in 7

NBA FINALS
(4) Houston vs. (4) Miami
Houston owns Shaq. Plain and simple. Miami finally shows signs of dying. And they do. T-mac is mvp. It's on him. And he shoulders the burden.
Pick: Rockets in 6.

 

I may have underestimated Ben Wallace's impact. We'll see how it plays out. Bulls ran Miami today. But that was at home.