Jokes

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by GoT, May 23, 2006.

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  1. GoT

    GoT Strength and Honor Tip Jar Donor

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    One day an Englishman, an American, and a Australian walked into a pub together. They proceeded to each buy a pint of Melbouorne Bitter. Just as they were about to enjoy their beverages, three flies landed in each of their pints.

    The Englishman pushed his beer away from him in disgust. The American
    fished the offending fly out of his beer and continued drinking it as if
    nothing happened. The Australian picked the fly out of his drink and started
    shaking it over the pint, yelling, "SPIT IT OUT, SPIT IT OUT !!!"
    #1
  2. GoT

    GoT Strength and Honor Tip Jar Donor

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    A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station. She tells
    the mechanic it died. After he works on it for a few
    minutes, it is idling smoothly. She says, "What's the
    story?"

    He replies, "Just crap in the carburetor."

    She asks, "How often do I have to do that?"
    #2
  3. TitanJeff

    TitanJeff Kahuna Grande Staff

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    My fav:

    Two old men are sitting on the front porch rocking the day away. An old coon dog is laying beside them licking himself where dogs are prone to lick.

    One old man says to the other, "I sure wish I could do that."

    The other old man replied, "Go ahead, he ain't a mean dog."
    #3
  4. alright heres mine

    why did the chicken cross the road??
    because there was food on the other side!!!!
    #4
  5. Mines funny but rude
    #5
  6. avvie

    avvie Ke ali'i o na okole Tip Jar Donor

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    Different punchline, spoke in slow Southern drawl:


    "Oooh, he would biiiiite yooouu!"
    #6
  7. avvie

    avvie Ke ali'i o na okole Tip Jar Donor

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    BTW, did you know that Helen Keller's favorite color is cordoroy?


    Some German humor:
    "What is romantic?"
    "When a man strokes a woman tenderly with a feather."

    "What is perverse?"
    "When the chicken is still attached."
    #7
  8. PhiSlammaJamma

    PhiSlammaJamma Critical Possession

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    Why are people in New York depressed all the time?
    The light at the end of the tunnel is New Jersey.
    #8
  9. Gunny

    Gunny Lord and Master Tip Jar Donor

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  10. TitanJeff

    TitanJeff Kahuna Grande Staff

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    I think I like your version better! :brow:
    #10
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