Breaking News Have Target Credit Card?

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by The Hammer, Dec 18, 2013.

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  1. SawdustMan

    SawdustMan #ChampChamp

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    Nope. Missed opportunity I suppose.
     
  2. XO

    XO Nevada Native

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    Walmart in Montgomery is a cultural experience.

    Pull into a parking lot that more resembles a junkyard.

    Sprint to the front doors avoiding gun fire and angry urban youths playing the "knock out game"

    An empty Sheriff's Department cruiser is usually parked out front, for false security.

    Enter

    "Welcome Walmart" says Sharkeisha as you walk in.

    Nose immediately overwhelmed by McDonald's because we know land whales need to consume unhealthy food as they shop for unhealthy food.

    Every associate you see is on break so don't bother asking anyone for assistance.

    Everything is security locked on the shelf from the video games to the deodorant.

    You will need permission and a key from an associate on break to access even an apple in produce.

    If you are lucky Octopuneisha will take a break from her break to unlock the apple for you and walk it up to customer service.

    After you've walked around for three days to acquire your shampoo and Flaming Hot Cheetoes, you venture through the sea of land whale and shìt smelling children to the dreaded front checkouts.

    There no less than 500 fast food fed land dwelling porpoises wait to checkout while three registers manned by Whaleisha, Squidonna and Sealquasha move as slowly as they can.

    After waiting in line for five days you finally make it to the front of the line where you are welcomed by gold capped teeth and bad weave.

    "I own my breaks" bellows Squidonna, "Fishaneisha will gat youz ova own wegista figh"

    You scream "****ing holy christ" before walking out.

    "Hava gud day" squaks Sharkeisha as you storm out back into the hail of gun fire as you sprint back to your car.

    tl:dr Montgomery
     
    • High Five High Five x 4
  3. nickmsmith

    nickmsmith Most poverty RB core.

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    I'm trying to recall all I saw there yesterday, and I was not looking.

    Piggy bank
    Gift card
    Christmas Card
    Multiple shirts/hats
    Posters
    Pajamas
    Cups
    Talking duck


    This is just of the top of my head. ridiculous. and this is all throughout the store, not one dedicated thing or anything.
     
  4. Big TT

    Big TT AKA QUADZILLA-STATE CHAMP-

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    OK....so...
     
  5. nickmsmith

    nickmsmith Most poverty RB core.

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    have never ever seen so much stuff dedicated to a TV show in one spot, in my life.
     
  6. RavensShallBurn

    RavensShallBurn Ruck the Favens

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    I found a dead guy in Walmart when I was young. Not joking.
     
    • High Five High Five x 2
  7. Scarecrow

    Scarecrow All-Pro

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    you are missing the bobble heads and talking heads

    I was thinking about getting one for a gag gift, but I value my life.
     
  8. Scarecrow

    Scarecrow All-Pro

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    oh lmao

    I got a legit laugh from that.

    I can just see an innocent 6 year old, just old enough to walk to another aisle by himself for the first time. Innocently going into the toy aisle to see a dead guy laying on the floor.
     
  9. nickmsmith

    nickmsmith Most poverty RB core.

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    at least he died happy, at the magical land of wal-world.

    Unless it was a suicide, then I guess it wasn't real happy.
     
  10. nickmsmith

    nickmsmith Most poverty RB core.

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    I wasn't looking for merchandise. Have never seen the show besides small parts. but people are insane about it. For me to remember all that stuff is pretty impressive. It is incredibly shoved in your face to where the average dude sees like 20 pieces of DD merchandise in one 30 minute visit.
     
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