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Fellas, come in, sit down, discuss....

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by The Mrs, Apr 21, 2009.

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  1. GMITTS

    GMITTS WHY VY SHOULD BE OUR #3

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    i would fight and kill for wife if i felt it was needed. i am a big dude, 6'4 360 lbs. most guys when faced with that back down like a school girl. so i dont really need to do the whole fighting thing. but if it came down to it, i would. i guess it all matters on how much your wife/girlfriend means to you.
    #41
  2. TBC_titan

    TBC_titan Camp Fodder

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    Exactly. I liken those guys to professional athletes who say, 'it's not about the money'.

    DC you could actually be totally honest when you tell guys that. But if you were one of those guys, you'd be the first one on my watch list if you were to tell me that.
    #42
  3. DCMobInc

    DCMobInc R.I.P Air McNair #9

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    I guess I should elaborate...

    I don't make specific compliments that could be misconstrued.

    I make generalized comments, such as things that his girl would most likely say.

    The other day at work, I was sitting next to this guy, with which I am friends with his girl. I asked how she was doing because she no longer works there.

    I noticed that by asking this, he seemed kind of stand offish. So I said that "she always speaked highly of you". Suddenly he was chill again and not so uptight that I was asking about his girl. He didn't see me as a threat any longer. He now says hi to me when he see's me at work. A friendship was gained solely because I put his mind at ease that I wasn't after his girl.

    I can see how you would think it was lying, but imagine if I just outright said, "Hey man, I'm not after your girl, no need to be threatened". He would most likely feel like I was calling his man hood out in front of others.

    To get down to the root of things, that is why "the mrs" guy is feeling threatened. He apparently doesn't know where her guy friends stand yet. Once he realizes that their not a threat, and that they have no intention of being so, he will chill out also.
    #43
  4. DCMobInc

    DCMobInc R.I.P Air McNair #9

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    I can completely relate to what you're saying.

    However, keep in mind the context of the conversation and situation.

    If I arrogantly and smugly came up and said, "hey man, no worries, I ain't after your girl", I would imagine that you would not believe me.

    But this is just my personal opinion and this is what I think would make me feel less threatened by my girls guy friends. It may not be whats best for every other guy though.
    #44
  5. DCMobInc

    DCMobInc R.I.P Air McNair #9

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    And also, I don't know how you guys feel about being told that "you're just overreacting" by a guy you might feel threatened by, but I would feel like I was a child being told by another man how to run my relationship....

    I would feel insulted.
    #45
  6. TBC_titan

    TBC_titan Camp Fodder

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    The arrogant ones concern me less than the humble ones, as the humble quite ones are usually up to something.
    I just feel that it's drawing unnecessary attention to yourself as far as suspicion goes.

    Oh yeah. I understand. It's cool. If you ever become a friend of a girlfriend of mine and YOU tell me that, I'll be inclined to believe YOU, given our rapport here.

    But at the same time, yeah other guys out there may be like me and not believe a word you said regardless of how sincere you sound.
    #46
  7. The Mrs

    The Mrs Crush on Casey Starbucks!

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    We've been circling each other since 2001.
    #47
  8. DCMobInc

    DCMobInc R.I.P Air McNair #9

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    And you shouldn't believe some one solely based on how sincere they sound. It does take some judgment on said guys part to determine if it is sincere or not.

    I guess what I am getting at is, if a group of my girls guy friends told me straight up with out using some type of diplomatic tactic, I would translate it to: "Hey, we realize that you're not confident enough and you need to be told by your peers that you shouldn't be threatened by us. We know you couldn't figure this out on your own, so were telling you now!".

    I think the idea for most guys, is they want to appear to be the alpha male to their girl. But if you have to be told to not worry about it, then you've basically accepted that you really do have a reason to worry. If you approach the matter in a way that, if just by simply saying something such as: "You're girl speaks highly of you.", then said guy feels like he has came to the conclusion on his own that he has nothing to worry about instead of having to have some one tell him and making him feel like more of a failure, which in turn could be why he is threatened by you having guy friends in the 1st place.

    To: The Mrs. - I am suggesting that you find some way to facilitate helping your guy feel like he can figure out on his own that he has nothing to worry about.
    #48
  9. DCMobInc

    DCMobInc R.I.P Air McNair #9

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    This could be the problem.

    Maybe he is ready to take it a bit more seriously and you having multiple guy friends could cloud his judgment that your heart isn't in it like his.
    #49
  10. The Mrs

    The Mrs Crush on Casey Starbucks!

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    Uh, the MRS....:irked:
    #50
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