A beautiful story (by jdog)

A Beautiful Story
Once upon a time there was a little red haired girl. One day she was walking through the forest carry a sack of burgers for her granny who had contracted H1N1. All of a sudden a big wolf jumped out of the woods and politely asked, “which way to Wendy’s? Those burgers smell great”!
Red being a smarta**ed little snot replied . “ Bite me wolf! So he did and completely decapitated her. He then snagged the burgers and ate them.................. oh yeah the happy ending. Titans beat the Jags 24-14 and everyone lives happily ever after. The End!

Great story.

This makes the football smack gods cry.

Jag ticket sales makes their owner's cry...

Bjorn Touraque,
That signature of yours is so gay, but so funny. You should have put David Garrard in there instead of Vince. He is waaay more into guys than Vince.

When you find that shot of him getting his down low swerve on at the sweaty shirtless man party you let me know.

HAWT!!

Good choice for the color of your background on your sig, Bjourn Tousuck, teal is the color of choice for gay men...lol

So, you've got the background color of my signature to talk about.

Is this what starting 0-3 does for your trash talk abilities?

You all make Baby Touchdown Jesus very sad.

We can always talk about Jacksonville's fan.

Yes, I meant it without the plural

What can you smack a Jag fan with? Let's see... How about we just use a top ten.

1.) Tarps - First and foremost, you must bring up one of the most embarrassing things an NFL team has ever had to publicly do - cover up seats they couldn't sell so they won't be televised.

2.) Record - Jags have been perennial AFC South whipping boys, and boast a losing overall record to every team in the division, including the Texans.

3.) Rednecks - Jacksonville is commonly referred to as Macon-by-the-sea, and is loaded with tealbillies. Jaguar fan will use this smack himself against people all over the country, but it is more or less an automatic defense mechanism. If you point at someone else, maybe they won't look at you.

4.) City smack - Jacksonville has a long history with racism and still boasts a racist mayor (you read that right, they boast it). If Jag fan ever attacks your city, you can let him know about the pile of dung he wallows in.

5.) 1999 - Great year to remind Jag fan of. The Jags received an ultimate sweep that season. The only team that beat the Jags that year was the Titans, but they did it three times - twice in the regular season, and once in the playoffs (in what Fisher referenced as our home away from home) for the conference.

6.) That stupid Superbowl song - Some may not remember, but the Jags recorded a Superbowl rap song before the conference championship in 1999. DOH!!!

7.) Illiteracy - Jacksonville has one of the highest illiteracy rates in the country. If Jag fan doesn't understand your post, and responds with gibberish, this is likely the reason. It is at this juncture, it is probably best to provide them with a link to hooked on phonics, and be done with the conversation.

8.) Arrests - This is a lot like the pot calling the kettle black, but the Jags have had a TON of players arrested in the last five years. Like a lot of teams now, the Jags have been cleaning their act up. Still, if Jaguar fan says something about players on your team mixing it up with the po-po, you might remind him of which team he supports.

9.) Uniforms/helmets - The Jags definitely want to be the ballerinas of the league. They look absolutely fabulous in their new uniforms and glitter helmets. They even had a fashion show that easily rivals Young's drunken incident on the homo-scale.

10.) Jimmy Smith - The Jags best receiver in their short history, but basically chose blow and weed over football in the end. You could also lump this one in with number eight, seeing as how he still likes the occasional blue-light special.