The Panthers remind me of my girlfriend's two cats, fat, gross, unlikeable, smelly, fat, hardly ever introspective, lazy, without charm, bilious,...
Texas fans, talk about an oxymoron. Your stadium smells like fish. I went last game and it was basically as loud as a poetry reading, and with the...
We need a linebacker with like some human appeal. Like a guy who can talk well, and maybe has hobbies, like kite-surfing. You tell me you see some...
You ever been shot in the knee? It hurts, OK. He has to wake every morning and touch that spot, like a sore tooth with your tongue, you can't help...
We gonna win out, except for 2 games, but take those out, like remove the ribs now off the plate, and we gonna win out like a big ol' olive salad,...
CJ gonna run like a oily cup of coffee, so bad he's good now, gas station coffee all caterwhomping through the intestines, the Jaguars eviscerated...
Jake is erratic but so is my girlfriend and I like her. When she throws things at windows (like my dachshund, for example) I think, Jake, Jake...
Everyone needs to chill out. I sold Kenny a French Horn and a bottle of grape cough syrup on Thursday. He's in Memphis. I know.
The only games worth watching ever are Titans games. 9 beers, half a bottle of cough syrup, and some Pop-Tarts. I call that a Thunder Sunday! Boom.
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